Yesterday I was walking in the beautiful Cretan sunshine wearing summer flowy dresses and sipping on cocktails; today I’m sitting in an oversized jumper, sweatpants, tackling a mountain of admin and working out if it would be okay to eat the unwrapped chocolate I left on my desk before I left a week ago, cat-fur and all. (the answer is yes, always yes to chocolate self-love and all that!)
It’s pretty clear that the post-holiday blues are slowing taking control of my body, although that could just be the fact we got home around 3.30am and my body woke up on Greece time – meaning I had a wonderful 4 hours sleep before starting work and being welcomed by over 250 emails.
But, I’m not bitter – because something wonderful happened on this holiday, something I hoped and longed would happen, since booking the holiday a few months ago. And I’m not even sorry for how cliche this sounds – but I really re-found myself – somewhere between the constant stream of free fruity cocktails and refreshing dips in the salty ocean. Having this huge surge of constant Vitamin D beating down on me, paired with extremely needed extra sleep and allowing myself to fully switch off from work and general day to day life stresses has really lifted my spirits and put my sass back I thought I lost a long time ago. I put away my phone, I turned off my notifications and I stopped worrying about all the little things that get me down daily – and this positivity and easygoing attitude is the exact reason why I’m still sitting here feeling elated, and feel like I can take on the world, even in my sleep-deprived state.
I’m notorious for being attached to my phone and I always have one eye trying to focus on the moment, and the other creating a to-do list in the back of my mind. It’s a horrible and destroying habit to be in, but one us millennials all know too well. I love the feeling and try my hardest to really experience what I’m doing and living in the ‘now’. But living in the ‘now’ can create a constant state of fear and panic in other areas of my life, so I adopt this superwoman mantra, and try and do 100 different things, to complete the never-ending tasks I have to do but all that does is leave me feeling unsatisfied and discontented in my life – bringing with it an unnerving sense of irritability, FOMO and anxiety.
However, for the last 5 days, I got to experience the carefree Amanda I thought had long-gone. I was able to stop worrying about looming work deadlines, to physically switch off and turn away from my impending social apprehension and just enjoy every little moment. I wasn’t concerned about nailing that ‘perfect’ Instagram aesthetic, or panicked about not having the ‘media-approved’ summer body and I found a true sense of self-happiness, self-love and self-appreciation for all I have achieved, what I have overcome, and where I’m able to go.
I stopped pulling myself down at every twist and turn, and putting my pieces behind a wall I was apparently self-consciously building, and I have never felt freer. So, I will be making it my mission to continue implementing this simple yet highly effective process into my schedule and make sure that I give myself the opportunity to switch off more often because the rewards are insane.